Forbidden City and Summer Palace

So onwards with our continuing bake-a-thon in Beijing.   It’s been a full few days.  First up – Summer Palace.  This is an amazing lake and garden district where royalty went to beat the summer heat.  So naturally, me and 4 million others of royal birth hung out there for the day.  I must admit, the breeze off the lake was FABULOUS and when that wasn’t enough I just nipped into one of the many washrooms and ran my hands, arms and sometimes even my feet under a cold tap.  (Don’t judge – I wasn’t the only one!).  At one of the temple entrances an elderly lady collapsed and fainted in front of the Good Doctor.  She had two small children with her and they became hysterical.  We both felt concern and profound helplessness.  Neither of us knows any Mandarin and this woman looked very unwell.   Eventually another woman came and someone else telephoned for help.  Global warming is really putting a dour edge into sight seeing.

That evening we met our travel companions.  There are 11 of us in total.  I will introduce them as the days go on but I will start with the most fascinating person – Richard.  He has done 7 overlands and before meeting up with us was in North Korea.  He’s very nice but evasive about what exactly he does for a living.  And that isn’t because he is a travel bum.  He has a bit of 007 about him.  Like, if shit went down at one of the borders he could fix it and not leave any bodies or witnesses. 

Today we did a group tour to Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City.  It was raining and I was eternally grateful for that.  It made the morning actually pleasant to be out in (although all that changed by afternoon).  I really enjoyed the palace.  The grounds are massive and our guide was really fun.  She spilled on all the palace intrigue – as in all the sexy bits.  Richard was disappointed that there was no live castration demo in the eunuchs chambers.  The Good Doctor still can’t get over the fact that to get to the concubines the Emperor had to walk directly past the Empress’s chambers and was himself not sent to the Eunuch’s chair.  There was also another medical emergency with a young boy get a massive nosebleed outside the Temple of Mental Clarity.  Enlightenment is a bitch.

It is now Thursday morning.  We leave at noon to head out of the city and away from civilization.  Next stop:  Great Wall of China.  Time to embrace my inner Mongolian.

The Zen of Tiananmen Square

The Party's Party

My boyfriend's other "love nest"

The Water Cube (other wise known as the Happy Panda Family Water Park)

Future Empress

Lions in the Forbidden City

Forbidden City Official Bike Courier

Forbidden City

Enjoying a much need breeze at the Marble Boat in the Summer Palace

Wangfujing

Today I had an epiphany.  That epiphany is I am not a heat person – at all.  I thought yesterday was hot but it had NOTHING on today.  Short of running an ultra marathon in the Sahara, going out and walking the city all day was the stupidest thing I have done.  We started the morning with riding the subway to Wangfujing.  I have to say the subways here are amazing.  First – AIR CONDITIONING.  Second, super easy to understand. Wangfujing was in the Lonely Planet as an “interesting walking tour.”  That depends  on how one defines interesting.  If you want to shop at Prada or hit up the Apple Store then yeah – it’s interesting.  Nothing like walking on white concrete surrounded by concrete when its 4000 degrees out.  We spent a lot of time browsing high-end boutiques just to escape the heat.  I am sure in my crap travel clothes it was obvious I had a serious interest in a $40,000 watch.  There is however a very cool “food alley” in the neighbourhood. The Good Doctor refers to it as “The Place Where you can buy anything impaled on a stick.” I suspect that in the evening when it’s a few degrees less than a blast furnace out it would be very cool to eat there and spend more time wandering. 

We continued our “scenic” 10 km trek to the walls of the Forbidden City and then into Beihai Park where the White Pagoda Island resides.  God I was never so happy as to be near water.  At least now it wasn’t soul sucking heat just relentless heat with the occasional warm breeze.  It occurred to me that I could swim in the lake to cool off (as many people were doing) but then I would have dysentery along with heat stroke to contend with.  Walked up to White Pagoda, which was like climbing directly into the sun – glare, heat and all.  Got to the top.  Just about puked.  Walked back down and continued towards the lakes and our hotel.  Located Nirvana (aka STARBUCKS) and collapse inside while I waited for the Good Doctor to get me an ice coffee.  Drank it in 2 seconds and then rubbed the ice cubes all over my skin because I really did have heat stroke.  Continued the trek back to the hotel (18 km total by end of it).  Almost got crushed between a park car and an Audi which was determined to fit down an alley that really should have no cars on it.  This fascinates and frightens me.  I just do not understand why you would take vehicles that cost $80,000 or more down narrow passages barely wide enough for people to get through and drive in such a way where you just drive at a slow but relentless pace.  Cars in alleys NEVER STOP they just use their car as some form of passive aggressive metal people mover that herds everyone to any small space they can get to so the car – Master of the Pedestrian Walkway – can always keep moving.

Aside from the alleyways the roads here are very civilised.  There are crosswalks and traffic lights, which are generally obeyed.  People are polite but keep to themselves.  I haven’t had a sense the big city crime happens much (pick pockets, petty thieves) and no one hassles you to buy stuff, eat at their restaurant or ride their rickshaw.  They simply ask try and barter a bit and then let you move on.

Stupid things to do in Beijing: Pose for a photo on a metal sculpture that absorbs heat (there was a reason no one else was posing on this one....)

Lovely Lotus blooms on the lake

Infinity Kite Flying

Rainbow umbrella hats are all the rage

Cook's Corner before the dinner rush

Amazing tile work at the White Pagoda

NIRVANA!!!

Impaled live scorpions having a better day than me

White Pagoda

District 798

A trip to Beijing has to begin with a visit to District 798 – home of my boyfriend Aei Wei Wei and the place where modern art in China began.  The area itself is a vast industrial complex built by the East Germans in the late 1950’s.  No one really knows if it ever came of anything and the buildings sat abandoned until the mid 1990’s when artists moved in to claim the warehouses as space to live and create.  Today District 798 is a mix of hipster bars, cafes and dirty dilapidated studios that give the place an eccentric feel.  The streets and alleyways are lined with sculpture and graffiti.  There are a lot of great photo opportunities but my verdict is still out as to if, in the end, it was worth the trek to the city fringes to see this conclave of creativity.

For one, it was a billion degrees out so being out side was like being in a pizza oven.  Many galleries had air conditioning (yeah!) but you still had to leave to get to the next place.  So after regaining consciousness, you open the door and get blasted by hot air.  The Good Doctor and I must have each drank $20 of water and it was NOT because water was pricey.  We never peed for 12 hrs it was HOT out.  The heat and humidity made it difficult to want to spend too much time wandering outside especially if you were in direct sun.  Shade wasn’t of no help.  It's just shade only in a furnace. 

The other issue is that without a guide it is very hard to appreciate the history and nuance of the place.  My boyfriend wasn’t home (probably in prison again or hiding from the authorities) so we had to make a go of it ourselves.  Not speaking Mandarin put us at a disadvantage in terms of appreciating the subtle nuances and behind the scenes machinations.  But hey, I found a great coffee shop and I met a poodle named David Beckham.  That alone made it a good day!

(A final note:  Clearing customs in Beijing airport we where inundated with large display cases of items you cannot bring into China.  These included ivory carvings and fake watches.  The irony was not lost on us.  As we left customs and entered the terminal there was the usual throngs against the ropes waiting for loved ones and friends to arrive.  At the front were two lovely young men with baskets of goodies waving Viking Tours flags and holding a placard with the name of two guests.  My sad poetic heart imagines with their Chinese efficiency and kindness they are still waiting...)

Complementary sexual aids and lubricants is an indication of the class of hotel you are in

Aei Wei Wei's Angel

Just chilling on some vintage theatre seats in an alley

Mr. White is not dead.  He relocated..

Naughty but nice!

Sucking from the teat of humanity

Needless junk anyone?

Not Starbucks, but dam close!

Yeah - we didn't get it either.  Just roll with it - its modern art.

Children shall be heard but not see

Graffiti Maestro

"Give me Blue Steel!"

Mummified Mummy on the street corner

Latte of Love

The Old Guard

The more things change, the more things remain the same

Duck Face - Beijing Style

Oodles of Graffiti Noodles