About Me

My photo
Whimsy comes in many forms and if you are lucky enough to encounter even one of them, your life will change forever. Jedi Queen is one of those whimsical creatures. She spends her entire life living on the edges. Growing up off the grid she lived the hippy life before it became main stream. After high school she left the farm for more concrete pastures and bucked her anarchist roots for post secondary values. A Master's degree in Clinical Social work and another in Art Therapy lead to private practice as an Existential Sherpa. To her parent's horror she married a doctor and settled into a life of suburban banality which lasted all of six months. Now days Jedi Queen and the Good Doctor divide time between their yorkie minions and ancient obese cat with epic overland adventuring. You can take the girl from the wild but you can't take the wild out of the girl!

Monday 25 August 2014

The Drives to Hell and Back - A Journey into Heated Enlightenment and Self Exploration of Vomitoriums

There are moments in every journey where you find yourself asking “Why the F**k did I sign up for this?!?!”  That moment for me was the drive from Duhuang to Turpan.  I knew it was going to be tough when we were told it was a 6:45 am start.  That alone is enough to put me over the edge (not being a morning person AND no decent coffee!).  But we had to start that early as it was a 13-hour drive through the desert in summer.  Yes – 13 hours in the desert in summer – in a truck with no air conditioning.  Fun times!! (NOT!)  Even with all the windows open all we accomplished was being blasted with burning hot wind.  It was like riding in a blast oven.  I hung on for 10 hours and then it was full on motion sickness with a migraine that was off the Richter scale.  I can count on one hand the number of times I have been so sick I would have welcomed death.  This was one of them. 

When we pulled into our hotel I couldn’t push Emma (our guide) out of the way fast enough as I made a run for the outdoor pool toilets.  I pushed open the door to find a washroom that had not been functional in 40 years but still well used.  If I thought I was nauseated before…  Then it was a crawl out of the den of defecation to  collapse on the steps where Ken rescued me and took me to our room.  I took every medication we had and passed out for 15 hours. 

Let’s leave the heaves and go back to the pool.  I say this because the “Turpan Hotel” in itself is a site worth mention.  It is a sprawling Arabic/Chinese fusion hotel that, as Barry put it, was like The Shining in the Gobi Desert.   I think this place had 400 rooms but we were the only guests.  Everything looks as if it hadn’t been used or cleaned since 1970.  There were cars in the parking lot – expensive cars – that were simply abandoned.  I half expected “walkers” to step out at any moment.

The following day we had a tour of the underground aqueducts and Jiaohe Ruins.  The aqueducts were literally and figuratively very cool and I thoroughly enjoyed our guide, Omar’s, informative talk on how they were made.  They are indeed an engineering marvel that supersede anything the Romans achieved.  Then it was off to the Jiaohe Ruins, which Lonely Planet describes as “impressive in scale rather than detail.”  Yep- that about sums it up.   Of course, when it’s 4 billion degrees out with no shade it is hard to appreciate the esthetic of this site.  I lasted about 20 minutes and then I was like “Screw this.  I am going back to the air conditioned visitors center and watching the video.”  Ken stuck it out and came back an hour later looking like death, drenched in sweat and before I even asked blurted out “You didn’t miss anything” and then ripped my water bottle from my hand. 

And who can’t have enough long tortuous desert driving?  Well apparently us since we repeated this the next day and the day after that.  Another 11 hr. drive to Kuche.  Pulled into a gloriously grand hotel only to find out we were actually staying in the “servant’s quarters” around back.  No functional air conditioning but we did have 20-foot ceilings and four bags of complementary tea.  Upshot:  they did have a good Chinese breakfast buffet  that we had 15 minutes to enjoy because you guessed it – ANOTHER LONG DRIVE!


Today’s drive was 12 hours through lovely desert mountain scenery that was completely marred by electrical transformers.  There were occasional moments along the way where one could see the multicolored striated mountains unblemished by progress but those were few and far between.  Mostly it was a tortuously hot drive….  No one in the truck said anything all day….  Highlights:  Peeing on the side of the road in a ditch beside a dead cat and passing the burned out shell of a truck that missed the turn on a bridge.  I am not entirely sure if it was on fire due to the crash or the heat...

Sara and I keeping our cool in the Aquaducts (Turpan)

Feats of Strength in Turpan

Turpan Hotel Pool (at night REDRUM appears on the walls...)

Ken catching some air in the desert

Road side diner near no where

Me catching some air in the desert - Grin and Bear it!

The Beautiful Striated Mountains of the Northern Desert

Another Epic Scene from the Epic Drive

Jiaohe Ruins - another "had to be there" moment (or just go to Drumheller and sit in a Sauna)

Chinese Space Shuttle Program!

Handsome Man at the Turpan Hotel

Turpanese Wal-Mart



1 comment: