About Me

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Whimsy comes in many forms and if you are lucky enough to encounter even one of them, your life will change forever. Jedi Queen is one of those whimsical creatures. She spends her entire life living on the edges. Growing up off the grid she lived the hippy life before it became main stream. After high school she left the farm for more concrete pastures and bucked her anarchist roots for post secondary values. A Master's degree in Clinical Social work and another in Art Therapy lead to private practice as an Existential Sherpa. To her parent's horror she married a doctor and settled into a life of suburban banality which lasted all of six months. Now days Jedi Queen and the Good Doctor divide time between their yorkie minions and ancient obese cat with epic overland adventuring. You can take the girl from the wild but you can't take the wild out of the girl!

Tuesday, 5 August 2014

Hanging out at the Monastery and Chilling in Pingyao

Our short time in China has so far lead to some interesting observations.  Let’s begin with food.  It’s pretty much a given that what you order and what you get are going to be two entirely different things.  We have come to appreciate that a picture menu is really just that – a menu with pictures.  Just because you point to that photo of chicken on rice with snow peas does not in any way mean you will get chicken on rice with snow peas.  You are more likely to get deep fried chicken feet or a dish of “something brown” with slices of celery in it. Also of interest are the bad English translations.  Things like:

  • Steam fried chicken semen with lotus bombs
  • Green root and stupid eggs
  • Rape and mushrooms (unlike other places we visit, fungus in China appears to be perfectly acceptable and legal)
  • Fish flavored pork droppings
  • Americun style donkey hamburger
  • Chicken with the fleas on pepper sauces
  • Characteristics of human ass (my personal favourite)


That said, street food is amazing.  There are these stuffed pancakes you can buy everywhere from street vendors for 5 Yuan (a dollar CDN) and eating out in general is very inexpensive – 30 or 40 Yuan for a good meal.  By far the most expensive thing in China is coffee.  If you can find a coffee shop then a cup of coffee will set you back 25 Yuan.  A latte is easily 30 to 35 Yuan.  That’s 5 CDN for coffee and 6 or 7 CDN for a latte!! 

We are also bemused by the signage here that tells you what you can and cannot do.  Mind you, not that anyone ever pays attention to it.  Public toilets all have signs saying things like:

  • Shitting forbidden
  • No use sanitary pads.  These are forbidden and must be obeyed.
  • Please prevent the defecation and sanitation pads from toilet


So we’ve summated that having a dump is a criminal offense as are kotex.  What isn’t is horking up giant green loogeys all over the street (because clearly that is so much better than using a toilet for what it is actually meant for) and spitting your chicken and pork bones all over the restaurant floor because THAT is so much more sanitary that crapping in a toilet or feminine hygiene products.

Staying in a hotel in China is also an experience.  Chinese guests have no concept of quiet or personal space.  We happened to get a room that was wedged into an entire group of rooms booked by a Chinese tour group.  All 30 rooms left there doors open all evening and just yelled up and down the hall at each other while their kids went wild.  You don’t just go to someone’s room and visit them.  Nor do you call them on your room phone to talk.  You just stand at one end of the hall while whomever you want to talk to stands at the other and you yell. 

And now back to the touristy stuff!

After the Yungang (Buddha) Grottos we went to the Hanging Monastery.  It is exactly as it sounds, a monastery built on the side of a mountain.  If you are claustrophobic and have a fear of heights then I would highly recommend this.  If you can survive the crushing crowds and the views from ledges a foot wide with railings that maybe (if you are lucky) come to your knees then you will cured!  (Or dead!!) It was spectacular though and I am glad I did it even though there were a few times I was close to a severe melt down. (Mainly because I had zero personal space and I prefer making my own way to a destination rather than being herded by a tsunami of local tourists who think stopping means you just need to be pushed harder to move rather than give the little old lady in front of you time to get up after she fell down the stairs.)

We are now in Pingyao for 3 days of R and R.  Pingyao is an ancient walled city that looks quintessential Chinese.  We’ve been wandering the streets and alleys trying to avoid the Granny Spy Network (little old ladies on street corners who watch and know EVERYTHING).  I am pretty damn excited because I found a quaint little shop called “Coffee by Shrew” where I can indulge in an expensive latte.  It’s not Starbucks but she does have a vast assortment of books on Chinese sexual positions, which I find intriguing.  One manual is all about how to have sex on horseback.  Sort of takes “getting back in the saddle” to a whole other level.

(Woo Hoo!  I figured out how to make the captions a readable size!!!)

Your typical moobies Dad and his son

Funeral Procession in Pingyao

The West Tower in Pingyao

The tiniest cutest kitten in the world!

The other David Suzuki


Raising the Red Lantern in Pingyao

There will be absolutely NO TIME TRIALING in the Walled City!

The Taming of the Shrew

Random Dude Statue in Pingyao

Gourmet Truck Stop Lunch

Hanging Monastery - Vows of Vertigo mandatory

Taking a moment to reflect how high I truly am...




Sunday, 3 August 2014

Great Wall, Datong and General Unrest

It’s official – we are now overlanding.  First stop – The Great Wall. We rumbled our way out the city for a 4-hour drive to Jinshanling.  This is the less “touristy” section of the wall that has no camel rides, street buskers or fake Ming Dynasty soldiers.  What Jinshanling does have is a cable car that takes you to the top of the mountain where the wall begins.  On a cooler day hiking up is an option but we decided to cable car up and hike down since by then it would be early evening and much less likely to have one of us drop dead from heat exhaustion.  The cable car was not what we expected.  We thought it would be a large car that takes 20 or 30 people at a time and 10 minutes to get to the top.  Instead it was a barely two person car encased in clear plastic (Zero ventilation) that took 25 minutes to get to the top.  If you’ve ever wanted to experience what it is like to be a baby or a dog locked in a hot car then take this ride up.  You won’t be disappointed.

Once up there the wall is truly a site to behold.  It goes on forever on both sides.  You can’t even begin to imagine the manpower and skill it took to build.  We hiked for about 5 km and rarely saw anyone.  We even celebrated one of the group member’s birthday complete with cake on top one of the old guard towers.   We spent the night here and had the place entirely to ourselves .  Well almost to ourselves.  When were having dinner alone in the massive dinning room there suddenly appeared out of no where huge groups of Chinese men smoking, talking extremely loudly and taking up all the tables around us.  They ordered massive amounts of food and beer and filled the place with cigarette smoke and constant yelling.  I am learning that dinner is never complete until you have an asthma attack from second hand smoke and a migraine from all the yelling.

The next day we drove to Datong.  The city itself is unremarkable.  Its predominant industry is coal so everything is grey and depressing.  It is a strange mix of old and new.  There is a “walled” section of the city that is full of old hutongs that are interesting to wander.  Sadly, the new city has taken to tearing these all down to rebuild them again as a tourist site.  The “new old town” looks nice but of course, no one lives there – it’s for show.  However, the big tourist draw here are the Yungang Grottos – a series of caves with effigies of Buddha carved into them. 

After the grottos the Good Doctor and I wandered what was left of the old city.  It’s amazing the life that goes on in the narrow alleys of the hutongs.  Everything is there – hair salon, take out food, bicycle repair shop, dog meat butcher.  So if you want a hair cut and some minced dog for spaghetti later on its all here. 

That night we had a group dinner at a street restaurant that specializes in leg of lamb on hot coals served at your table (we are assuming it was lamb…).  We sat at the “vegetarian table” with Sarah (birthday girl) and her partner Wendy because for one thing, having a giant leg of lamb with a bucket of hot coals in your face is about the worst thing to have when it is 400 degrees out.  The lamb table coped by drinking kegs of Chinese beer and by the end of it it showed.  Keith became convinced that an elderly man on a bicycle with speaker box was walking up and down the street blasting “Giddy Up My Bear.”  That and the fact that Keith gets cruised ALL THE TIME when we are out at night has made things pretty interesting.  (BTW, we never did find out what the old man on the bike was advertising.  All we know is periodically a man would approach him, they would disappear behind a parked car and then both would emerge very happy.)

(Side note:  You have all heard about the earth quake and the riots/killings in the North.  We are safe from the earth quake.  It happened in the southern regions.  However, the riots are in an area we will need to pass through in 3 weeks.  Keep your fingers crossed.  Otherwise it is a very L-O-N-G way around to get home.  But then, we do have Richard, international man of mystery on the trip and he did say he knows of some safe houses...)

The Great Wall that came with Birthday Cake!


Love on the Wall
Proud Warrioress on the Wall

Contraband Buddha photo I snapped while Ken distracted the guards with his charm and beard

Gangsta Buddha
Entrance to the Grottos

Hunger Games 2.0.  Notice my arrow heading right to the bull's eye!  (Ken's went past the target and shot a gardner)

Bullet Hole Buddha 

Chinese checkers in the Old City

Too cute to be eaten!  

A day in the life of teenager girls in the Hutongs of Datong