Visas and Bacon

We are now 11 days away from the epic overland and it was almost over before it started.  One of the many head aches of long term/multi country travel is visas.  Fortunately we have an amazing "fixer" with Odyssey (Kristen) who takes care of most of the paperwork  - but not all.  One of the visas we had to do on our own was China.  In order to get a visa for China you have to be invited by a tour company and provide your second by second excruciatingly detailed itinerary for your stay.  This (thankfully!) was provided to us by Kristen.  That said, there is the "itinerary" and then there is where we are actually going.  In particular,we have no departure flight from China because we are leaving via Kyrgyzstan.  We leave China via the Torugart Pass - a region of China that is not happy about being part of China and NOT what you want to put on your paper work when you fill out your visa application.  So our "itinerary" says we leave via Laos.  The Good Doctor, being the terrible CSIS operative that he is, filled out the paperwork at the embassy with where we are "not" going (but really are) because Spock logic always trumps overland espionage.  Once he got home he realised what he had done and promptly s*** himself.  He then rushed back to the embassy and out OCD'd the OCD x 400 embassy clerk and was able to get back our applications and do new ones with "the itinerary" to Laos.  We then spent the next 72 hours in a state of abject panic because we weren't entirely sure the original paperwork had been seen....

Good news is:  WE ARE IN!  (We will keep you posted if this turns into another Cuban interrogation moment at the airport.  Remember:  we did discuss with all of you before the potential need for ransom money!)

Another visa we had to apply for was Azerbaijan.  This one was a little more straight forward than China but it did have some interesting questions.  Such as:

"The direction of the judicial person inviting you Azerbaijan (Check one of the following)

1. Humanitarian
2. The citizen of the Republic
3. The foreigner constantly living in the Republic
4. The employed by the Republic migrant.

(My personal favorite is: "Do you suffer from infections of the disease that are of dangerous to the Republic?"  I have an infections laugh.  Does this mean I will be deported if riotous giggling erupts at any border crossing?)

Next up:  FORBIDDEN SUBSTANCES

We received an extensive list of all the things we cannot have when crossing borders.  This includes 8 pages of around 300+ pharmaceuticals (legal and otherwise) that you cannot have on your person unless you opted for the "Stans and Turkish Prison" trip extension option.   Some of the more note worthy are:

1. Poppy Straws or milk of straws
2. TheBacon (thank god we are vegetarian or this could get ugly)
3. Solutions to drink (no potable answers to questions on this trip)
4. All fungi

There is also a strict ban on anything of a religious nature or propaganda that could incite a political revolt.  So my Virgin Mary pyjama pants and "Communist Party" t shirt our out and I won't be doing any bible study or eating mushroom omelets while I am away.

How to get arrested and look amazing on your Odyssey adventure